1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:02,710
Ah!

2
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,463
Damn, it's just Riley.

3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,089
"Damn, it's just Riley."

4
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,176
I have a name
for my autobiography.

5
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:12,053
This dude has been waiting
on your brother,

6
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,222
watching the door
like a dog.

7
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,558
I had to rub his belly
to calm him down.

8
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:20,311
I can't believe Dad's
picking Sam up at the airport.

9
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:23,202
He didn't even pick me up when
I got my wisdom teeth pulled.

10
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,777
It was fine. I've driven
on way more codeine.

11
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,402
Sam joined the Navy.

12
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,989
You got fired
for stealing socks from Old Navy.

13
00:00:31,469 --> 00:00:34,158
Alright, attention on deck!

14
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,118
We got an officer
coming in there.

15
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,621
Sam Parker, Commander
of Naval Intelligence.

16
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:39,830
Get over here.

17
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,707
-Aw.
-Okay! Oh, yeah.

18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,542
I missed you so much.

19
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:44,919
Oh, we're gonna have
so much fun.

20
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,754
We gotta go to the Grove.
They have a trolley now.

21
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,548
-Gabe, sit. Sit, sit. Calm down.
-Okay.

22
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,800
-Okay, my turn. Oh!
-Aw.

23
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,052
Oh, this feels good.

24
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,679
And weird without you
putting me in a headlock

25
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,681
-and giving me a noogie.
-Well, if you insist.

26
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,183
-No!
-Oh!

27
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,768
Look at my man Sam.

28
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,228
You lookin' good, baby.

29
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,219
-Not as good as you.
-I know that's right.

30
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,233
This is just great, you know?

31
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,068
He's on the road
to becoming an admiral

32
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,945
and just flew in from-
Where was it?

33
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,780
-I'm not at liberty to say.
-Ha!

34
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,074
I love it when he says that.

35
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,370
Yeah, but when I say it,
I'm "withholding evidence."

36
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,875
[? rock theme playing]

37
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,380
[tires screeching]

38
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:36,012
Georgia, your mom tells me how
great you're doing in school.

39
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,598
And, Carter...

40
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,142
you're really funny
on Instagram.

41
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,019
Thanks. Missed you, Unc.

42
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,687
You know, last time
you saw me, I was a boy.

43
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,606
But now, I'm a man.

44
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:50,360
And, yes, that is Obsession
by Calvin Klein you're smelling.

45
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,824
It's better than his old scent,
Cool Ranch by Dorito.

46
00:01:55,825 --> 00:02:00,161
You know what? We should have
a welcome home party.

47
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,955
Oh! You've never thrown me
a party, Dad.

48
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,583
Sure, I did. Junior year.
That big surprise party.

49
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,418
That was an intervention.

50
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,881
But the muffins were great.

51
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,382
Fine, but not a lame party.

52
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,426
-We should do a karaoke night!
-Ooh!

53
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,011
No, no, no, no,
I don't like karaoke.

54
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,804
I don't listen to Bob Seger
songs thinking,

55
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,275
"Maybe some drunk accountant
should sing this."

56
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,894
-Uncle Sam.
-Hm?

57
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,564
-You're a spy, right?
-I am not at liberty to-

58
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,375
Yeah, yeah,
save it for the sheeple.

59
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,944
My Legend of Zelda game
is missing,

60
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,488
and I know Carter took it.

61
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,032
Can you give me some
spy stuff to catch him?

62
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,284
One of the first things
they teach us...

63
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,744
[patting]

64
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,120
...is that when people lie,

65
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,540
they have a tic or a tell
that gives them away.

66
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,085
-Like what?
-Um, fidgeting,

67
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,419
avoiding eye contact.

68
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,172
An unusual rise
in vocal tone.

69
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,761
Grandpa, you love Mom and Sam
the same, right?

70
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,048
[high-pitched]
Yeah, of course I do.

71
00:03:02,636 --> 00:03:06,519
I can't believe how grown up
the kids are.

72
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,229
Well, you've been gone
a long time.

73
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,939
You know, you spent all
that time in North Korea...

74
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,150
-Dad.
-My mistake, South Korea.

75
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,069
You know I can't tell you.

76
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,654
And I also know
how hard it is

77
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,114
for you to not know
where I've been.

78
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,949
[Matt] Well,
it's a good thing for you

79
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,826
'cause you're
on that admiral track.

80
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,911
Something you've always wanted
since you were a kid.

81
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:27,707
Yeah, well, I also wanted
to be a dinosaur, so...

82
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,793
I'm glad to be home.

83
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,505
Yeah. Me too.
Really missed you, kid.

84
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:37,968
So, my loss is
the Philippines' gain?

85
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:40,929
Nope.

86
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,433
You know, Cyprus is
on the water.

87
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,767
It is Cyprus.

88
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,436
Could be.

89
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,487
Cleveland?

90
00:03:49,488 --> 00:03:53,691
[Riley] [singing] ? Yo, I'll tell you
what I want what I really, really want ?

91
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,734
? So tell me what you want,
what you really, really want ?

92
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,820
? I'll tell you what I want,
what I really, really want ?

93
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,780
? So tell me what you want,
what you really, really want ?

94
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,199
[both singing] ? I wanna,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna ?

95
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,742
? I wanna really, really,
really wanna zigaziga ?

96
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,077
? Ah! ?

97
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,371
[? "Wannabe" by Spice Girls
continues playing]

98
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,456
[? song stops]

99
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,082
I'll tell you
what I really want.

100
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,627
For these mushrooms
to kick in faster.

101
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,920
Hey, guys.

102
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,881
-Oh, hey, you made it.
-Yeah, of course.

103
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:19,133
[Riley]
You know Gabe and Stitch. This is my brother.

104
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,843
-Sam, this is
my boyfriend, Andy. -Hey.

105
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,429
He's, uh...
Well, look at him.

106
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,765
Oh, it's nice to put a name
to the face of the guy

107
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,808
that Gabe says
he can do more pull-ups than.

108
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,811
-[Andy] Hmm.
-Twelve.

109
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,023
It's not important.
But it's 12.

110
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,152
Andy is a lawyer.
And he's never been arrested.

111
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,320
[chuckles]

112
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,488
I did a background check.

113
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,114
But, unless you kill puppies,
we're good.

114
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,742
And even then.

115
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,829
-Hi, I'm Amelie.
-Hi. Nice to meet you, Amelie.

116
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,749
-Stop that. Bring it in.
-Okay.

117
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,921
Um, I'm a dancer,
but I minored in physics.

118
00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:00,090
The point is, I'm not defined
by being Gabe's girlfriend.

119
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,261
I mean, what does "girlfriend"
even mean?

120
00:05:02,262 --> 00:05:04,428
It means that
we live together

121
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,222
in a monogamous
sexual relationship.

122
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,682
Shh! Stop.

123
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,269
You know what?
You guys mind if I sing you a song?

124
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,562
-Oh. Oh!
-[Andy clears throat]

125
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,149
You brought a guitar. Huh.
To karaoke.

126
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,693
You know, the, uh,
the music's provided, right?

127
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,696
Music is provided,
but it is BYOA.

128
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,448
That A is for awesomeness.

129
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:27,785
[clears throat] Stitch,
I'll Make Love to You.

130
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,414
Uh. The- The song.
Uh, Boyz II Men.

131
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,707
I really feel like
the right thing to do

132
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,126
is to protect him from himself.

133
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,337
And play.

134
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,933
[? "I'll Make Love To You"
by Boyz II Men playing]

135
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,802
[singing off-key]
? Close your eyes ?

136
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,805
? Make a wish ?

137
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,849
Made one.
You still have the guitar.

138
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,017
? ...the candlelight ?

139
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,769
? For tonight! ?

140
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,606
? Is just your night ?

141
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,550
I should have protected him
from himself.

142
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,611
This is Black-on-Black crime.

143
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,905
? I�ll make love to you ?

144
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,199
? If you want me to ?

145
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,035
? And I'll hold you tight ?

146
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,413
? Baby,
all through the night ?

147
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,457
? I'll make love to you ?

148
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,709
? Like you want me to ?

149
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,168
? And I'll... ?

150
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,880
This is the most painful thing
I've ever experienced.

151
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,133
And I fist-fought a dude
from the Taliban.

152
00:06:23,547 --> 00:06:26,135
What are you talking about?

153
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,888
This couldn�t be going
any better.

154
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,805
Guitar solo!

155
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,765
[? guitar playing]

156
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,576
[laughing]
And it just got better!

157
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,067
Do you guys remember
when he was hot?

158
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,529
I missed you, babe.

159
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,366
[? harmonica playing]

160
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,868
Well, you know
the old saying,

161
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,159
you never really know a man
until he karaokes.

162
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,206
You don't have
to be enjoying this so much.

163
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,374
Where did Sam go?

164
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,043
Well, he certainly didn't
tell me a secret

165
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,086
and go to the bar.

166
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,422
-What?
-Sam's not gonna re-enlist.

167
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,716
What?! That's insane.

168
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,509
Not as insane as bringing
your own guitar to karaoke,

169
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,219
but close.

170
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,804
Alright, Stitch,
let's cue up a little ditty

171
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,057
called American Pie.

172
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,602
I gotta see this.
He brought headgear!

173
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,320
You're quitting the Navy?!

174
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,551
I guess pinky promises
mean nothing to Gabe.

175
00:07:28,552 --> 00:07:31,992
I've dedicated 20 years
of my life to the military,

176
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,994
and I'm ready
for the next thing.

177
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:37,331
Oh, my God, Dad is gonna freak!
When are you gonna tell him?

178
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,208
And can I be there?
And possibly film it

179
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,079
and send it out
as my Christmas card?

180
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,880
I'm waiting
for the right moment.

181
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,132
Smart.
'Cause he is gonna be disappointed.

182
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,134
But just know, deep down,

183
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,471
he's also gonna
be really furious.

184
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,472
You're not helping.

185
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,974
-And are you smiling?
-What?

186
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,601
-No. Cheek cramp.
-Yeah.

187
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:59,937
But for real, I love you,
and I will support you

188
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,647
-every step of the way.
-[sighs]

189
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,316
Not because I wanna see
the golden boy crash and burn.

190
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,735
Like I said, for support.

191
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,447
[? harmonica playing]

192
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,492
-Good news.
-[Sam] Mm.

193
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,660
I just threw down
my credit card.

194
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,496
We got three more hours.
If I'm payin', I'm playin'!

195
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,547
[Riley whimpers]

196
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,377
Carter's coming.

197
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,045
I need to find out
if he stole my video game.

198
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,880
-What do I do?
-Okay.

199
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,340
You're just trying
to gather intelligence.

200
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,135
Intelligence from Carter?
Good luck.

201
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,555
Okay, establish
a baseline of behavior

202
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,931
for when he's telling the truth.

203
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:39,102
And then look for deviations
when the target is lying.

204
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,396
Hey, Carter.

205
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,690
-What time is it?
-Let me check.

206
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,984
Time for you to get a watch.

207
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,697
Walked right into that one.

208
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,158
Carter, out!

209
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,369
[shoes squeaking]

210
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,211
See?

211
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,965
I can't play mind games
when he doesn't have the parts.

212
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,342
Don't you moonwalk
away from me!

213
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,053
Ugh! Stop shouting.

214
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,972
I drank so much last night.

215
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,266
I browned out between
Andy doing Purple Rain

216
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,269
and Andy doing
acoustic Purple Rain.

217
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:25,023
Yeah, that was the song
that was formerly known as good.

218
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,777
Well, good morning, kids.
Whoa.

219
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,279
Wow, you look terrible.

220
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,157
And you smell worse.

221
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:39,120
Do we have to have another
little "surprise party"?

222
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,165
Don't say party.

223
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:45,000
Hey, you remember that
admiral friend of mine?

224
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,752
Thinking maybe
you guys could connect.

225
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,671
Maybe guide you
through the process of becoming an admiral.

226
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,134
And, you know, suggest a good
place to eat there in Yemen.

227
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,054
Thanks. Yeah, I'll, uh,
I'll think about that.

228
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,765
-Great.
-[clearing throat loudly]

229
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,060
[continues clearing throat]

230
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:07,189
[clearing throat forcefully]

231
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,650
Just throw up already.

232
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,323
Why didn't you say anything?

233
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,575
I told you, I'm waiting
for the right moment.

234
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,828
[in baby voice]
Oh, no. The world�s bwavest man

235
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,956
is afwaid of Daddy!

236
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,552
You know, for a fun drunk,
you're a mean hangover.

237
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,587
I'm just trying to be sensitive.
Dad just lost Mom.

238
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,258
I don't want him
losing his only good kid.

239
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,093
Hey! Well, fair.

240
00:10:35,094 --> 00:10:38,679
But I appreciate your help
and your support.

241
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,097
And I appreciate your help

242
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,765
directing me
to the nearest trash can.

243
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,851
Oh, yeah. Here you...

244
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:44,977
-Thank you.
-...go.

245
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,562
[Riley groaning]

246
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,553
Aw, this reminds me
of your Junior Prom.

247
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,442
And your Senior Prom.

248
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,987
Oh! And your wedding.

249
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,532
[laughter and chatter]

250
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,159
I'm so proud of you, man.

251
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,493
And you're protecting us
from communists,

252
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,203
whether it's
in strange countries,

253
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,330
or Brooklyn.

254
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,876
And, uh, my coffee protects
doctors from falling asleep

255
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,252
in heart surgery.
[chuckles]

256
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,796
You're welcome, America.

257
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,133
Hey, Unc, you got
any cool battle scars?

258
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,301
Oh, yeah. Shrapnel.

259
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,595
And I stitched it up myself
with dental floss.

260
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,971
Always be prepared.

261
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,308
See, this is why I don't
waste it on my teeth.

262
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:28,313
How do you
have a girlfriend?

263
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,981
[phone ringing]

264
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,274
-Hold on. Excuse me.
-Mm. Yeah.

265
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,943
How much fun
was the other night?

266
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,695
We saw a whole other side
of you, Andy.

267
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,156
And I liked it.

268
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,283
A lot.

269
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:44,495
I know, man.
When I do karaoke, I just lose myself.

270
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,000
Ugh! I should�ve done
Lose Yourself.

271
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,502
-You rap, too?
-Pfft.

272
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,589
Man, save some talent
for the rest of us.

273
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,717
Did, uh, did everyone get
some champagne?

274
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,470
My dad wants you to know it's
American, not French. [scoffs]

275
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,055
[mimicking Matt]
"It's half the price.

276
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,226
And the grapes aren't
crushed by cowards."

277
00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:07,226
You know, I'm good, Mom.

278
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,228
I found it a bit dry. Right?

279
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,274
I've said too much.

280
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,152
None for me, thanks.

281
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,023
Just protecting
the ole instrument.

282
00:12:19,024 --> 00:12:22,699
Hey, Sam, I just talked
to Admiral Masson.

283
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,784
Oh.

284
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,327
You never called him.

285
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,996
Time to come clean.

286
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,873
Uh, look, Dad, I was waiting
for the right moment

287
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,208
to tell you,

288
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,126
which I now realize was
the car ride coming home

289
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,211
back from the airport.

290
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,629
Tell me what?

291
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,340
I've decided to retire
from the Navy.

292
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,509
You tell him!

293
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,640
-To become an actor.
-To do what?

294
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,520
[enthusiastic clapping]

295
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,147
Dang it!

296
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,109
I always clap
at the wrong time.

297
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:58,527
-Can we talk for a minute?
-[sighs] Yeah.

298
00:12:58,528 --> 00:12:59,861
Excuse us.

299
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,363
-I need you to come with me.
-Oh.

300
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,573
Listen, why do I have to hear
this from the admiral?

301
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,867
Okay, Dad. Sorry,
I didn't want to disappoint you.

302
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,869
But honestly,
I didn't know how to tell you.

303
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,371
But you're made for this.

304
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,290
You got your analytic skills
from your mom,

305
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,874
and look how far
it's taken you.

306
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,794
Yeah, well, now I wanna
follow my artistic side.

307
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,879
Look, lots of former
military guys have gone on

308
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,423
to become successful actors.

309
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,008
Jimmy Stewart, Adam Driver...

310
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,218
Bea Arthur.

311
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,680
One of the Golden Girls!

312
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,016
Dad, I know this is
a lot to take in,

313
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,934
but I'm serious
about this.

314
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,894
I'm, uh, gonna sign up
for improv classes.

315
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,229
Ooh! Phew.

316
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,980
Now, you're just
trying to hurt me.

317
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,109
You're on a path to become
an admiral in the Navy.

318
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,111
This is something
you've wanted since you were a little boy.

319
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,113
Yeah, well, acting
is not that different

320
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,781
from what I do
in Naval Intelligence.

321
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,783
I pretend to be people
that I'm not all the time,

322
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,577
and I'm good at it.

323
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:52,914
I've done accents that would
get me canceled stateside.

324
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:56,044
What I see is you
throwing away a great career for nothing.

325
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,171
Sam just wants
to follow his dream.

326
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,881
And we should support that.

327
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,508
Even if his dream is stupid.

328
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,262
You're gonna do great.

329
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,014
I can handle this
on my own.

330
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,268
Oh, see?
That was good acting. I almost believed him.

331
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,270
You want to see
some good acting?

332
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,646
Hey,

333
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,816
I think this is a great idea.

334
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,947
That was actually
pretty good.

335
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,950
??

336
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,412
Here, I gotta hurry.

337
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,956
A Girl Scout's selling cookies
right next to me.

338
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,333
If she's there when I get back,

339
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,804
she better be ready
to earn her bitch-slap badge.

340
00:14:38,805 --> 00:14:41,505
Does she have a limit
on how many boxes

341
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,173
of Do-si-dos you could buy?

342
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,133
It's not important.
Totally unrelated,

343
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,344
I'll be right back.

344
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,472
-So, how's your brother doing.
-Eh...

345
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,308
I'm used to my dad being upset.
I've built up immunities.

346
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,813
But Sam's like an unvaccinated
casino waitress in April 2020.

347
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,202
[clears throat]
Oh, wait, that was me.

348
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,651
I never didn't have COVID.

349
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,071
I tested positive every day
for eight months.

350
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:09,116
Let me guess.
We're still talking about Sam?

351
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,742
Ugh. I know you're upset.

352
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,369
Yeah, I'm upset.

353
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,995
He's always wanted
to be an admiral.

354
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,747
Now he's gonna just
throw that all away?

355
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,042
Well, maybe he'll
play one on TV.

356
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,044
On one of the channels
you watch, like two,

357
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,754
or four, or seven.

358
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,381
Yeah. You know what?

359
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,092
Maybe he could play
Cap'n Crunch's boss.

360
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,023
Wait, Cap'n Crunch
isn't an admiral?

361
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,888
"Captain's" right in his name.

362
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,558
Chocula's still a count, right?

363
00:15:33,591 --> 00:15:37,978
You know what, Dad?
Why don't you just cut Sam off

364
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,729
like you did me for 15 years.

365
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,398
Or, crazy thought,

366
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,859
maybe for once in your life,
be the mature one.

367
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,810
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go choke out a Girl Scout.

368
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,700
Stitch, you were
in the service.

369
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,826
Be honest with me.

370
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,953
Do you think what Sam's doing
is crazy?

371
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,955
Hey, come on, man, look,

372
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,832
the man knows what he wants
to do with his life

373
00:15:58,833 --> 00:15:59,959
after the military.

374
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,295
Not everybody has that.
I didn't.

375
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,672
You had a great second act.
You came to work here.

376
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,467
Sam spent 20 years fighting
for other people's freedom.

377
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,343
He deserves
the same freedom

378
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,512
to do whatever the hell
he wants.

379
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,932
To be an actor?

380
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,396
I don't think I can get used to
Riley being the successful one.

381
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,981
You'd be surprised, man.

382
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,776
Your kids can make you proud
in all sorts of ways.

383
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,528
Ding-dong!
The witch is dead.

384
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,863
[cackling]

385
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,866
??

386
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,244
Andy, sorry,
we have a strict "no music" policy.

387
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,829
The jerk next door
always complains.

388
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,997
Your dad?

389
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,250
I said what I said.

390
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:44,211
You know what?
That's actually why I came.

391
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,712
Oh, God.

392
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,631
-[? strums guitar chord]
-Riley,

393
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,508
this one's for you.

394
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,302
What the hell?

395
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,054
I realized the other night

396
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,805
that I took it a little too far
at karaoke.

397
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,933
And I just wanted
to make things right.

398
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,284
It's not your fault.
You have pretty privilege.

399
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,731
People let hot people
do whatever they want.

400
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,733
It's why Idris Elba
gets to be a DJ.

401
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,945
Well, after seeing
many, many...

402
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,323
God, many videos
of myself online,

403
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,325
I realized that
I have been, uh...

404
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,371
What is the legal term?
It is a... douche canoe.

405
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,579
You know what?

406
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,630
I like that you're not good
at something.

407
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,209
Thank you?

408
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,502
No. People like you
and my brother

409
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,088
can be a little
intimidating.

410
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,799
So, I kinda like
that you're not perfect.

411
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,300
Oh.

412
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,885
Well, I kinda like
that you're not perfect, too.

413
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,638
What? Okay, hold on.

414
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:38,932
No, I mean, seriously,
I ran a background check on you.

415
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:42,018
-Oh, God. Mm.
-No. It's fine.

416
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,354
You do have
an active warrant in Utah.

417
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,898
Yeah, well, not to brag,
but I might have one here, too,

418
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,709
if that Girl Scout
presses charges.

419
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,446
-You mind if I...?
-Go ahead.

420
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,785
No! Look what they've done
to my boy!

421
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,205
Only one pepperoni left.
You want it, Georgia?

422
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,292
No, Carter should have it.

423
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,711
He's my brother,
he deserves something nice.

424
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,629
Wait, you're being
nice to him?

425
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,560
Okay, missy,
I don't like this one bit.

426
00:18:11,561 --> 00:18:14,926
She's trying to trick me.
You have been all week.

427
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,469
-No I haven't.
-Just admit it,

428
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,263
you want to know what happened
to your video game.

429
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,432
-I think I'm entitled to it.
-You want answers?

430
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,019
-I want the truth!
-You can't handle the truth!

431
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,396
Zelda�s a free spirit.

432
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,898
She belongs to no man,
woman, or forest nymph.

433
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,986
-So, you did take it!
-You're damn right I did!

434
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,573
'Cause you don't appreciate
the nonlinear storytelling.

435
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,533
Or- Or the catchy music.

436
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,494
You need me
to play that game!

437
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,543
Cracked him like an egg.

438
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,005
That's it.
She's the captain now.

439
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:54,799
Hey, Sam, can we talk
for a minute?

440
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,884
Talk or yell?

441
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,470
I'll just clean up.

442
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,765
Look, Dad, I'm sorry
I wasn't upfront with you,

443
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,933
but I've made my decision.

444
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,101
This is what I'm gonna do.

445
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,354
That's exactly
what I said to my dad.

446
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,147
Do you remember when
your grandpa talked to me

447
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,649
about taking over
the machine shop?

448
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,901
Yeah. You wanted to be
an industrial designer.

449
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,653
Right. We fought about it,

450
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,072
fought, fought, fought,
he's a very stubborn man.

451
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,657
Hmm. Sounds like
someone I know.

452
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,159
-Could we...?
-Continue.

453
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:25,121
Listen, my dad passed
before we had a chance

454
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,706
to patch up our differences
like that.

455
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,916
It always stuck with me,

456
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,211
and I couldn't stop
thinking about this.

457
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,713
You know, and I don't want that
to be between the two of us.

458
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,944
Ah. Told you you should
get that mole checked.

459
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,435
I'll stop.

460
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,013
I just want you to be happy.
Period.

461
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,226
And if that means expressing
your artistic side, like me,

462
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,977
and that art happens
to be acting,

463
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,355
then, so be it, son.

464
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,523
-Thanks, Dad.
-[Matt] Yeah.

465
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,234
So, you don't think me wanting
to be an actor is stupid?

466
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,610
No. Huh-uh.

467
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,961
I think it's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

468
00:19:57,962 --> 00:20:00,323
But who knows?
You might get cast

469
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,794
as the guy that's really
in the Deadpool costume.

470
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,546
While Ryan Reynolds is getting
his feet done in his trailer.

471
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,708
But I'm proud of you.

472
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,961
I have been,
and I always will be, son.

473
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,361
[throwing voice]
You too, Riley.

474
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,609
You really turned
your life around.

475
00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:21,428
We're having
a little moment here

476
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,059
and you had
to add yourself to it.

477
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,560
-Sorry.
-Golden boy is back.

478
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,104
??

479
00:20:30,852 --> 00:20:33,356
[imitating jet whooshing]

480
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,024
[imitating gunfire]

481
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,152
Contact. Right.
[imitating more gunfire]

482
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,948
[panting heavily]

483
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,158
Talk to me, Goose.

484
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,209
Talk to me.

485
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,165
And scene.

486
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,962
Wow. That was... Wow!

487
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,048
[high-pitched]
It was great.

488
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,428
Wait. Why was he so upset
about a goose?

489
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,805
Hey, Dad.

490
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,224
What did you think?

491
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,144
I am not at liberty to say.

492
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,318
[crying] That was...
That was beautiful, man.

493
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:21,738
-[continues crying]
-Hey, thanks, buddy.

494
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,616
-You... Wow!
-Thanks.

495
00:21:23,666 --> 00:21:28,216
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0